THE BGG CHRONICLES PROLOGUE



THE EPIC TALE OF THE RISE OF GROVELANDIA. ORIGINALLY A VERY VERY LARGE, FULLY WRITTEN BY PHONE TEXT MESSAGE, IS NOW REMASTERED FOR THE WORLDS VIEWING PLEASURE. PLEASE ENJOY THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURE AND GRAB A BUCKET OF POPCORN BECAUSE IT WILL PROBABLY TAKE YOU A FEW HOURS TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

-Prologue Part 1-
What would ur seargents reaction b if u took 8374 semen tanks and filled them to the brim then on ur wedding day you said i do, n scout says bark and you and scout have romantic honeymoon in botswana except u bring ur ipad n scouts like bark and jumps ships and divorces n u go home to ur purple shirts, mac, coke zero, and carthage diploma then take ur semen tanks and compress them into a diamond ring which u give to scout to marry u back but u wake up to find urself in kennys bed and kenny is actually an orange

-Part 2-
What would ur brothers brothers reaction b if ur sisters brother came home from the apple storr(LOL!) to find kenny on the kitchen table with the stick thing half way up his butt like a tail pretending to b scout except kenny is makin noisies like those fish at the bottom of the ocean with lights on their head that sound like bark except theyre deeper like leonardo dicaprio having a dream in a dream in a dream in a wet dream n kenny walked around knockin stuff over with the stick tail n he goes to banana republic to find a generic jacket with an oblong pocket for his detatchable penis except it would roomy cuz the size of his penis is like a kidney bean except its actually the size of 1/450 of a kidney bean, and goes back to ur House and has his cybernetic detacahble penis slaps u across the face and ur like itchin ur face cuz u think its dust while ur playin mass effect n u hear police sirens n think o shit left mayb my sgt can tell his reaction to the time when u tried to marry scout but kenny was n orange so u go downstairs any way and find that u lost ur ipad and ur broter gets all pissed initially but then both ur lives improve 2490% and discover what true happiness is and write songs that create wolrd piece but u trip n break ur arm So ur layin on ur gurl makin out wit the couch wen suddenly the phone ringd u pick up and he says, but ive been dead for three years1!! thats when u realize that its not ur couch ur makin out with its actually kenny and its not ur gurl ur layin on its mrs nehrrings yacht and it wasnt a phone u picked up it was mr haans oar n ur like time to slay moby dick n so u set out to slay mobeys cock except kenny grabs ur member whos new and his name is amadeus n hes like heheheeeeeeeh so u see the big white boi whale moby schlong m hes all like hey look at my drawnignszs n u find out its not mobey dick its actially a bear not a whale and his name is not mobey but tim and u slay him n hes all lik O I AM SLAIN in ur like no ur tim and them slain was tim except u werent really on the oceans u were in a forest cuz bears dont live in ocean a except the 11 giyz who robbed kennys house casino except the eleven guys were so crates, bile, tead, birry the rapist, juno of arch, sigmund fred, beatoffoven, abrosteak Lincoln, genghis kein, napoleon, and rufus except it wasnt really 11 guys it was one guy and it was you all alone for the rest of your days because you own an ipad except its not really an ipad its ur big tv n its playin boy next year n its not u its ur dad watching while eating out of a brim filled semen tank filled with extra butter popcorn what would jared reaction be

-Part 3-
Ok so one day ur in ur house on ur mac playing games, creating beatiful art, having meaningful convos wit ur frands, all around becoming a better person and improving the lives of those around u, which is extremly ironic considering none of that if even possible on a mac, infact you should kill youself by hanging urself feet first down off a moving bullet train which slowly lowers u to the track until u lose everything up to ur penis, but then all of a sudden ur like o man fuck the police and then procede to fuck the police n theyre like hahehehhhehhhehno n banish u from ur house and police hood n send u down to the ghetto except ur a poor white boi n ur with ur other poor white bois n ur all like ok guhs lets go over there and circlejerk n then u go, then ur like lets make a castle out of our tears cuz ur crying that ur in the ghetto n theyre like ok dood. Ur white boi friend is all like u should go to rich boi land and fuck the. Police n ur like gr8 idea any volunteers? N then u went,.., on the way u find keni and tim and kenny is impregnating tim with his ANDEE n tim says bfhdiodsiqcf n u say what?! N he makes a face that looks like :-)8 so ur walk away cuz they. Let u throug then u arive at rich boi land and sgt man is like get out of here this is our haus, n then u turned into elk n hes all like where he go? N ur like LATER n his left upper testical exploded in a fiery rage and he took a nap. Then u found leo and his internet watching shaq fuck the living shit out of a shark, the joke is what is a poor jew doin in rich boi land? So u decide to get reveng on the police by corrupting leo so u go to get an apple n feed it to leo and then his computer turned to a mac and it went to leo all like yo nigga eat this apple and he was like ok then dipped it in motor oil and protien bars and devoured it with utmost fat. Leo then went from being a jew to a dirty jew and had sex with his mac u return to the ghetto successful wit ur plan only to find that u and ur poor white bois had all turned to semen tanks filled to the brim and then i woke u up and said i bet u didnt see that cumming what would rachels reaction be